Whether it’s your first message or you have been chatting for a while, it’s important that you know the best way to communicate with a prospective date.
With so many prospective partners out there people are easily distracted, so it’s vital that your message is read and reply to. On top of that, they need to sit there eagerly awaiting your response every single time if things are going to progress to date.
But don’t worry, there are several easy online dating communication tips that you can use to dramatically increase your chances of getting a response first time and every time.
Know the key questions to ask in your first dating message
Asking questions that almost demand a response is one of the skills you will need for great online dating for success.
There are a couple of key questions to ask in that first online dating email if you are to stand a good chance of getting a response.
1. Ask a question based on something from their profile. It could be asking them about their chosen username, something they discussed in the profile, something in their photos, or something from their likes and dislikes checklist. The point of doing this is to show that you have actually read their profile, which is vital for building initial trust and put you ahead of half the people who have sent the messages.
2. Ask a question based around a joke that builds a sense of shared purpose. A great question to ask is how long have they been on the dating site? You can then say you have been on their a little while and are already thinking you need to plan an escape.
How frequently should you communicate?
This is one of those questions that can never be answered with a number.
Our best advice is that the frequency of your dating communication will largely depend on the speed you are getting message responses. However, don’t just bash out a reply and hit send immediately. Play a little hard to get and don’t send a signal that you are spending all day sitting on your phone waiting for messages.
A rule of thumb that seems to work well is to log into your account only once a day, usually in the evening, and respond to all the messages you want to. Then log out and don’t check back until the following evening.
After three or four days, you may have built up a regular response rate with someone you are interested in. At this point you can respond more freely, but again don’t just bash out your text and send it, wait a little while and put some thought into it.
Make sure you cover the basic dating communication skills
Probably the biggest communication tip we can offer you is to make sure you type out high-quality messages that are well formatted, well spelt and that contain something interesting that can be responded to.
It’s better to take your time writing out a message than to just type it out and send it. One of the problems with most modern dating sites is they include apps which work much the same way as chat apps (the POF app being a great example). This causes the problem of encouraging people to respond in the same way as you would with online chat or text message. This is a mistake.
Think of your message as an email, or written letter:
- Take your time writing it
- Try and keep each paragraph to one or two sentences
- Make each paragraph about something worthwhile that as values the conversation
- Aim for every message to build rapport
- Finish each message with a hook that they can respond to
Unfortunately messaging through an online dating site is not a science, it’s more of an art and it’s more about being aware of how the other person is responding, or is likely to respond to what you say than any formula.
The frequency of your communication may vary and what you say may vary, but by following the tips outlined briefly here, you can stand a greater chance of getting to that first date.
Click here to learn some surefire tips for getting more messages responded to.