The entire point of going through online dating is to get back offline and into the real world as fast as possible.
If you are single, you only have to suffer one Valentine’s Day to realise that you need to get back on the wagon as fast as possible. It’s not until you are single that you realise how many things you can’t do, or feel awkward doing, when you are on your own.
In America alone there are more than 90 million single people. This makes the online dating world nowadays equivalent of a giant rock concert, where everybody is being pushed around in front of the stage. Everyone pretends they are enjoying themselves, but most of them are actually just tolerating it in order to watch the band and then get out as quickly as possible.
In order to prosper in the world of online dating, and facilitate your rapid exit, you need to play the game well and follow the rules of online dating.
Rule One: Go Where The People Are
If you are looking for a specific type of person, then you need to consider the dating site you join. It’s great to join one of the big dating sites, but there is such a mix of personalities and types on their that it’s often quite an alienating experience.
There are now many niche dating sites out there, allowing you to find everything from Goths, through to Cosplay geeks, through to people who have unusual sexual tastes.
So if you have a particular passion, or outlook, then you may want to think about using a site where you stand more chance of finding your kind of person.
Rule Two: Pretend To Be Yourself
Offline, everyone is the real them. You can’t help but be yourself. Even though you can put on an act for a short period of time, eventually your true personality will shine through. That may be a very good thing or a very bad thing.
But online, it’s possible to put up s front, a fake persona, indefinitely. The rules of online dating allow this to be the case.
You can hide your nerves and your insecurity if you are clever. You can make yourself sound more impressive than you really are, more outgoing and more approachable.
Think about it. Nearly every profile say something along the lines of how they are outgoing and like to go out and meet new people. When you go out in public and look at the people shuffling around in an embarrassed and withdraw manner, you quickly realise that a lot of people actually are not outgoing and are very wary of new people.
But it is socially unacceptable to say “I find meeting other people a bit of a bore and I prefer to just avoid it if possible”. Try getting a date online if you do say that!
Rule Three: Flaunt It, Even If You Haven’t Got It
Your online dating profile photos must present the absolute best of you. Making do isn’t enough. Just finding the first photo that doesn’t make you wince and sticking up will do.
You’ve got to look hot, you’ve got to convey something in your photo.
Women are less attracted to the visuals than men. However, even women nowadays scroll through online dating profiles like they’re looking at sweets in a shop. Don’t be fooled into thinking women are much more deep than men in terms of what they are looking for. Everyone goes on looks, so make the look you have on a dating site the best you can.
You may have heard stories from people saying they met someone online, and will shock that they didn’t look anything like the photo. This is actually true most people. A photograph only captures one moment in time, from one angle.
You cannot capture the entire essence of someone in a photograph. You have to accept that they will look similar to the photo, but don’t be shocked when they are not as good as you think. People rarely are.
Rule Four: Quit While You’re Ahead
Unfortunately, online dating has created a new problem for single people. Because there is so much choice, it’s often difficult to know when to stop sticking your hand in the cookie jar.
Quite often, people meet someone perfectly nice. They fancy them and they get on with fine. But the next day they are back on the dating site, scrolling through the profiles.
It’s the nagging thought in the back of their mind that there is still someone more perfect for them out there. That they can still do better.
Before online dating, you would meet someone face-to-face. If you fancied each other and got on then you would keep dating and see where it went. The the times when one of you was tempted away by a third party were few and far between, because interaction with other people was not so great.
Fast forward to now, and everyone is out to get that person from you. If they don’t come straight off the dating site, there will always be someone tomorrow to contact them and asked them out.
The trick to getting offline and into the real world is to know when it’s time to quit and start living your life for real again.