The first week of online dating is usually great. You’re full of excitement and hope.
But after that things can slide downhill rapidly. By the end of the first month a lot of people are on the verge of giving up, or already have. And that’s a tragedy.
They wonder why none of this is working for them and they usually take one of two courses of action:
1. They get more bitter and jaded, which is reflected in their profile text and their messaging, alienating them from potentially great matches.
2. They decide in a black-and-white fashion that “Online dating isn’t working for me, so I’m out of here!” And they delete their account for good.
But the truth is that online dating has its pros and cons. If you focus on the cons, or you don’t know how to make it into a productive and positive experience, then all you will discover is that there can be a massive disadvantage to online dating.
So let’s look in detail now at how you can take the third option, by focusing on the positives of finding love on the internet rather than the disadvantages and benefiting by finding that special someone to date.
First you need to look at why online dating isn’t working for you
Usually it’s not getting you the results you want because of something you are doing, or not doing.
Things to look at in detail include:
1. You do not visit your account regularly.
You need to login daily. If you don’t, the fast moving world of online dating will mean that people who messaged you, or who you message, will already be attracted to someone else or even arranged a date.
2. You are being too picky.
When we say too picky, it’s usually ruling people in or out on the smallest of things because you think the pool of available fish is large. The truth is that there are only a small number of people who will be compatible with you, so ruling out somebody who generally looks good on the strength of a single bad photo, or single line in the profile text URL share about, is a strategy for disaster.
3. Really work hard on your profile.
If your profile is not complete, giving people a good idea of who you are, what you want and what you like, then you are inviting anyone to messaging. The more blanks you leave, the more generic your conversations will be and the less suited those conversations will be to your needs. Be specific, but don’t be so specific in picky that you will everybody in the real world out.
4. Don’t be too quick to share everything.
You don’t want to look like a drama king or queen, so don’t share everything on your profile. The world doesn’t need to know everything about you straightaway and it leads nowhere of mystery. If you moan on your profile or in messaging then people will think you are miserable, and if you make demands people will think you’re high maintenance.
Make a list of online dating in terms of pros v’s cons
Ultimately you don’t want to be doing something that you really are not cut out for. So make a list of the pros versus cons and educate yourself on them by reading good quality Internet information.
By being aware of the positives and negatives and educating yourself about them, you can head off many of the big dating mistakes that people make. Especially initially, not being aware of problems can make the experience so negative that you walk away, but as with everything, information is power.
Don’t take it all so seriously that you can’t cope
One of the reasons that looking for a partner on the internet can send people running for the hills is that after the initial enthusiasm, and usually confusion about what is a strange world at times, a bad experience will tip them over the edge.
The way to look at it is that there will be lots of bad experiences, both in terms of messaging people and first dates. But the truth is it is all part of finding that special someone. If it was all really easy then everyone would do it quickly and easily and nobody would be lonely!
The truth is that you need to toughen up and play a great romance strategy in order to benefit the most.
If you’d like to find out more about you can sidestep some of the basic pitfalls of setting up an online dating profile and getting started with messaging people then you can enter your email address below to receive our completely free 30 page guide via an instant download.