Well, of course you would!
And let’s be honest here, we are talking about guys contacting girls on online dating sites.
The reality is that ladies usually don’t have to contact men. Unless they look like Nellie the elephant then ladies problems revolve around being unable to deal with the frequency, volume and tone of the online dating messages they receive.
If you are a lady who isn’t receiving online dating messages, then I apologise. You probably don’t look like Nellie the elephant, you just need to read some of our tips for making your online dating profile make you seem more approachable.
So this is aimed at men contacting women and trying to be seen amongst the average of 50 messages a lady receives every day on sites like Plenty Of Fish, Match and eHarmony.
Form A Message Structure Before Firing Off Your Conversation Starter
One of the biggest pitfalls guys fall into when sending an online dating conversation starter topic is to not think before they send.
Sometimes a guy will have a standard format that he will simply copy and paste it into the message and then change a couple of details.
Other times he will have a standard format in his mind and just type it out.
And still other times, a guy will just type the first thing that comes into his mind and then hit send.
All of these are surefire ways to get ignored.
Before you send an online dating message for the first time you need to have a plan.
This means reading the profile. It means taking note of anything interesting or unique that you can discuss.
It also means googling anything you are unsure about, so you can learn more about what has been mentioned. You can use this information to construct a question that shows you are genuinely interested.
By preparing yourself and educating yourself, you can start to come up with an intelligent and humorous message in your mind.
Never Forget To Look At The Profile Photos
You can also gather information from the profile photos. Look at how they are dressed, how they have their hair and make up.
Look at the background of the photo.
What you gather from observing? Can you see more about how they live, things they like, something quirky you have spotted that you can ask a question about?
Construct A Powerful First Dating Message
Now you have some unique information about the person you want to message. This angle will allow you to create a message that gets ahead of the standard format messages most men send.
Women love men to take an interest in them as more than visual objects. By asking positive questions about something on their profile you are telling them you have taken the time to look at it, which already puts you ahead of half the men who make contact with them!
When it comes to mentioning things you must be careful though. It must seem personal but not invasive or sexually motivated.
For example, if you say “I really like the red dress you are wearing in your photo.” Then that could be taken as a simple compliment, but some women would feel it was invasive or pervy.
So qualify your statements where they could be ambiguous. For example, “I really like the red dress you are wearing your photo, you have excellent dress sense.”
In doing so you take the ambiguity away, you pay an additional compliment and you get extra brownie points for talking about clothing with a woman!
General Dating Conversation Topics You Can Use
If you are having trouble coming up with something to ask your prospective date based on what you’re seeing on a profile, you can always fall back on some tried and tested questions.
Women are usually closer to their families than men. So it’s usually okay to ask them about family, friends and siblings.
But only do this if you are going to ask a positive question, in a general sense, and qualifying it with a reason for asking.
You could for example ask her something like “Do you have any children? I don’t have any kids, but I’m really good with them and would never rule out having one in the future.”
That way you are asking your question, showing you want to be involved with somebody who has children, and you are not ruling out having some in the future.
Hopefully you can see how that question structure also helps you to filter out someone who may not be right for you.
She may reply telling you she has seven children. Yes that happens.
She may reply and say she would like to have more children, or she wouldn’t like to have more children. Whichever way she answers, it gives you an idea of how her future around children fits in with what you want.
By being clever you can ask questions that hook the lady into responding while also subtly finding out information that you need in order to see if they could ever be compatible with your future wants, needs and desires.
Five Surefire Dating Conversation Starters For The Struggling Man
Let’s finish off this piece by giving you some ideas on questions to ask when you are really struggling. These are general questions that are proven to stand a great chance of getting a positive response.
1. If you had to spend the evening with three people, who would you choose?
2. If I gave you a magic lamp, what three wishes would you make?
3. If you win the lottery this weekend what will you do on Monday morning?
4. If you could be a famous person for the day who would you be?
5. If you could invent a new food what would it look and taste like?
These questions will make them stop and read again because they are strange. However, they encourage the brain to be creative and even as they are reading they will be thinking of a response.
So whether you use these questions, or similar ones, it’s about hooking them and then reeling them in to respond, by using bait in the form of well structured questioning.
Start Your Journey To Find Love Right Now
So what are you waiting for, why not join a dating site right now, like this one we highly recommend, and start asking questions?
Taxiforcupid.com is packed with advice on everything to do with online dating, so please explore, learn and use the information to find that special person.