When it comes to starting a conversation on a dating site, it’s quite easy to send that first message, but the trick is to learn how to keep your online dating conversation going nowhere.
If you can’t get a conversation going then it will end up going nowhere and you will never get to that first date.
So if your online dating message conversations always seem to end up going nowhere then this is going to be great for you because we going to discuss some easy tactics the making sure that your messages get replied to, as well as a couple of top tips to keep that conversation flowing.
Don’t be cheesy or sleazy
One surefire way to get your online dating conversation going nowhere is to be cheesy or sleazy. If you open with a first online dating message that is cheesy or sleazy then you will probably end up deleted along with 100 other message conversation starters just like yours.
Go for something original. Don’t be generic, make sure that it is something that is accessible, fun and easy to associate with and reply to. Never paste the same generic message to everyone you want to contact on the dating site, and never be flirtatious, keep sexual innuendo away from all your dating conversations unless the other person, mainly the lady, initiates it.
Stick to easy conversation message topics
One of the big problems is getting into a dating conversation that goes too far too fast. Find an easy topic and stick to it. Look for something in the other person’s profile you can relate to and asked them questions about that topic.
Or stick to something more general that you can then be more specific with after you have found out a bit more about what they are interested in.
Don’t go for topics such as diet or weight loss, exercise, clothing, past relationships, or other difficult topics. Keep it non-personal and try not to stir strong personal viewpoints.
If the conversation gets to detail that can become convoluted and go off in multiple directions, making it difficult to keep up with and respond to, especially if you are chatting to other people on the dating site the same time.
Keep your online conversation short and to the point
Always make sure that your dating messages are short and to the point. You don’t want to write lots of paragraphs a rambling text, stick to just a handful of paragraphs, maybe less, addressing the questions or points the other person is great, and then leading the conversation on.
Take responsibility, answer and ask
Often, especially the ladies unfortunately, people are guilty of simply not asking questions.
If only one person is asking all the questions, they are making all the running with the conversation and it becomes hard work for them. It doesn’t matter what conversation topic you have going between you, you have to add things to say to help the conversation flow.
Something that kills online dating conversations quickly is when the other person gives up. Unfortunately this is true of ladies, they just answer the questions but then don’t offer information that can be used to further the conversation, so one person gives up because they just can’t keep the conversation going without input.
This leaves the other person to think that they aren’t interested because they are just not showing an interest in the conversation or the person they are chatting to.
How long should you keep the conversation going before asking for a first date?
Once you’ve learnt how to keep an online dating conversation going, it’s up to you to judge when it is getting to the stage where you should be arranging to meet for a first date.
As a general rule of thumb, we have found that if you have not arranged a meeting within seven days of starting to chat with someone, averaging two or three messages a day within your message conversation, then you are going to run out of steam pretty quickly. You have to build momentum.
Alternatively, if you keep the conversation going too long, one or both of you can get bored, arrange to meet somebody else, get sidetracked by real life, or you can start to develop ideas about their character and personality from their online persona which are not actually real, which can be very damaging for when you do meet.
Write down interesting things to say to help the conversation keep going
If you are really interested in somebody on a dating website, then make some notes on your phone if you think of something to ask them.
Think of other things you can ask or chat about before you start talking to them, that way you will have lots of ideas rather than sitting there panicking about what you are going to type in a message to that person, and then ending up sending them a message that you regret.
Sometimes people panic when they are trying to keep an online dating conversation going and they end up sending rubbish to somebody, or they offend them unintentionally, or the other person becomes confused, or even worse, they realise you are struggling and think you have no interest in them.
Do the right things to stop that Online Dating Conversation Going Nowhere
Whoever you are chatting to in your message conversation, make sure it doesn’t go nowhere by always keeping it upbeat, cheerful, and most importantly accessible.
If the other person has to make all the effort, because you are not handing them information to work with, or you are not building a rapport, then you are going to be spending a lot of time on POF, Match, or wherever trying to get that first date, but ultimately ending up in conversations that just don’t go anywhere.