When it comes to using a dating site, you will quickly find that things don’t ever go as smoothly as you thought after a the initial high and excitement of the first couple of weeks.
The problem is that you go in with your hopes sky high and that can cloud your judgement.
Poor judgement can lead not only to heartache, but can also condemn you to a much longer stay online that you hoped for. Before a few weeks have passed you are mumbling “Online dating doesn’t work for me” under your breath every time you log into your dating account. It can really knock your confidence, especially if you are naturally shy.
So how can you easily make sure that you check in with yourself and protect yourself from being hurt?
#1 Don’t Get Attached To Their Online Persona
One of the things that people do which can really mess with their heads when searching for love online is to get attached to persona’s before meeting.
Usually, setting up a date goes something like this.
You contact them or they contact you. You ask a few general questions, things seem compatible and you move to a chat app, usually something like Kik or Whatsapp. Flirting escalates, maybe photos are shared and then a date is arranged.
That’s where it all goes wrong.
In that week or so where you have been chatting online you have been getting attached to a persona, not the real person.
As soon as you meet them you are suddenly confronted with a total stranger, about who you actually know nothing.
Crash. It all gets awkward and things go badly for a couple of hours before you make your excuses and walk away, deleting their number from your phone as you do.
#2 Don’t Get Caught Up On Profile Details
If you take what is said on their profile too literally you can convince yourself that they are more compatible than in reality.
As well as jumping the gun, you have to remember that most people are liberal with facts on dating profiles, meaning you may not be reading the actual reality of their situation.
And on top of that is the problem with misinterpreting what has been stated, or adding your own wishful thinking into the mix.
#3 Look At The Big Picture Not Just One Good Profile Detail
It’s easy to find one good thing and convince yourself that it makes you compatible.
For example if it turns out that someone lives close by, you could think that is wonderful as you can see each other easily.
But that is ignoring a lot of other facts that are not as good. So clouding your judgement by fixating on one good thing can be dangerous.
The best dating advice is to take a laid back approach and take things slowly. Before you conclude that online dating doesn’t work for you, it’s vital that you adopt the correct mindset.
- Having a great profile set-up
- Approaching messaging in the right way
- Being aware of complication with online dating
A great first step to educating yourself is to download our completely free Dating Success guide, which has more than thirty pages packed with real-world tips that will get you that special someone far more quickly.