It doesn’t matter if you have just created your first online dating account or if you are a veteran of many dates, there are five crucial questions you should be asking any potential date.
By asking these questions, you will filter out unsuitable people, leaving you with a far more potentially suitable match for your first date.
Ask These Five Key Dating Questions Naturally
When it comes to the best online dating questions to ask in email, prior to your first date, you should add them naturally into one or more emails over the course of your initial conversation.
You should not under any circumstances ask them as questions, especially not in a list. Weave them in naturally, conversationally, so that your potential dates does not feel under pressure. Also try not to ask more than one question per email. This means you have to prioritise which of the five questions outlined here is most important you.
The key is to ask the question naturally within the structure of your email. Starting your opening email with Hi, how you? Why did you last relationship fail? Is not likely to get you much of a response.
Try to let your text flow organically and practice the format beforehand if necessary. It’s crucial that your potential date does not realise you are specifically targeting them with questions to ask in email that you are using to vet them.
So let’s look at the five best online dating questions you can ask in email to stand the best chance of getting a first date that is a pleasurable experience.
1. What are you looking for in a relationship?
Now you should not read too much into the answer you get from this, as some people will spot it as a potential trap, others will take it seriously, and most people will try to be casual in their response.
You think about it. If you were asked that question by a complete stranger are you more likely to say “I’m looking for some fun dates and nice times leading to something more potentially.”, or are you more likely to say “I’m looking for a life partner to spend every moment with and share everything with.”
The truth is most of us do want a life partner, but saying it seems really desperate and clingy. You are looking for responses such as “If I meet the right person”, “I’m open to a relationship”, “I’m open to possibilities”, “A long-term relationship is a possibility”, “I’m not looking for anything casual.”. Those are the sort of positive responses that suggest they are genuine.
2. What is your most embarrassing moment?
This question will help you to understand the sense of humour that your potential match has. If they duck the question, or relate something horrendous, then it will give you food for thought, but mostly you are hoping that they will relate something true, and in doing so show that they have a sense of humour.
You could head off embarrassment and encourage participation in developing the conversation the way you want by sharing an embarrassing moment of yours first. By demonstrating you have a sense of humour and are open, you encourage them to do the same, potentially increasing a connection.
3. What does a great Saturday morning look like to you?
Most people have the weekend off. By initially finding out what they think a good start to the weekend looks like you can see if they are your sort of person. If they say recovering from a hangover, while you like to get up and run, then that may suggest incompatibility.
If you prefer to lay in bed, while they say run a marathon and then work for 10 hours, then again, you would have to ask how much leisure time you will have together?
4. What did you like about my profile?
This is a direct question, but it encourages that other person to either look at your profile if you have contacted them, or if they have contacted you for them to a state compatibility reasons.
Asking this question will also help you to weed out the people who copy and paste the same email when they first make contact. You would be surprised how many people put together an email they think will work, and then paste it into every profile they have a vague interest in.
Asking what they like about your profile also allows you to see if they are comfortable with giving compliments, and what sort of complement they give. It will also show if that person is comfortable giving and receiving compliments and being honest and open.
5. Does your family live locally?
This is a great question to ask to see if family values are important to that person. It could also open up a conversation around their domestic arrangements and their relationships with their family.
It’s also great question to ask to see if your perception of family matches theirs. If you see your family twice per year, but they want to spend every Sunday afternoon with their own family, that could point to an incompatibility over domestic priorities.
A lot of females like to keep close to their mum for example. If you are a man and you find the idea of a woman being in daily contact with a mum, hours on the phone, text and insisting on seeing them multiple times a week, then you may see a reply outlining this as a warning sign.
Questions Not To Ask When Looking For A Potential Online Date
Before closing, let’s just quickly talk about the questions you should never ask before meeting someone through a dating website.
You should never ask them how much money they make. Some people are incredibly embarrassed about how little, or how much they earn, and some people see finances as something they rarely share. Conversely, somebody openly telling you that they earn a lot of money can also be a warning sign, a desperate attempt to impress.
It’s also not advisable to ask someone about their previous relationship. Sometimes you want to know how recently the last relationship ended, and sometimes during a first date you can ask a general question which leads a person into volunteering that information. But generally, talking about previous relationships before you have even met is a really bad idea.
In general, your questions should be positive and allow you to make choices about whether you want to meet people based on key values you have yourself.
If you take the advice laid out in this article by using these key online dating questions to ask before meeting, then you may just find the relationship you are seeking through your online dating account.