So you took the plunge and spent 10 minutes of your precious life creating an account on plenty of fish (POF).
You then spent another hour searching around for photos of yourself that don’t make you look like something out a horror movie. Realising you don’t have any, you then probably spent another hour taking selfies from ridiculous angles while you pulled stupid faces.
Then you will have spent time writing your profile text. Perhaps you spent a lot of time on this and wrote War and Peace. Or perhaps you took the lazy way out and wrote “will fill this in later” or even worse an “X”, or nothing at all.
Then one of two things happened.
If you are a lady then regardless of what you did your inbox will suddenly flood with messages. These messages will contain everything under the sun and more.
If you are a man then your inbox will be completely silent and empty.
This will then dictate your experience over the days and weeks to come. As a lady, you will spend most of your time desperately trying to get through your inbox to find somebody sane and good-looking. As a man you will be desperately trying to think of something fresh to say to the people you are interested in, while not getting disheartened when they completely ignore you.
Half of these problems and half of this pain can be eradicated by doing things differently on plenty of fish.
Try approaching online dating a different way
As a woman, you going to get lots of offers. Offers for sex, offers to move abroad, offers to give someone your money, requests to cover yourself in mushy bananas, through to genuine offers to find out more and meet.
The problem as a woman is that society still programs them to not make first contact in the dating game. So rather than proactively looking at the listings and making contact with people they are interested in, bypassing the flooded inbox issue, most women just sit there passively trying to fight the flood.
So tip one of the ladies is to get out there, search, realise it’s the 21st century and not the 18th, and make contact.
And for guys, the top plenty of fish trick is to make your profile comprehensive and to have photographs that say something about yourself as a human being. If you can do that, and then send meaningful messages, you will improve your response rate and chances of a date.
If you don’t do something different then you will become one of the many people who gives up with online dating after a few weeks. Men give up because they are burnt out with constantly trying to send meaningful messages to women who just ignore them, and the women are burnt out from trying to wade their way through reams of insane emails.
Get yourself a decent POF profile setup
When it comes to using plenty of fish successfully, the absolute key is to get your initial profile setup right. This means:
1. Make your username meaningful and representative. Also, make it positive.
2. Get good photos. As a lady, indoor photos showing your face and also your body shape are key. If you don’t show your whole body, men get suspicious you are trying to hide a load of wobbles and will treat you less seriously. As a bloke, they should be outdoor shots, showing that you have an active life and again, that you are not hiding anything about your body.
3. When it comes to plenty of fish tips the headline is probably the one most people ignore. The amount of people who cut off their online dating oxygen supply by putting a negative headlines such as “Does this really work?”, Or “Are there any decent people on here?” Our guaranteed to make people think you are lazy and negative. Say something positive and hopeful even if you are lazy and negative.
4. Answer all the drop-down box questions and fill in your interests. Give people an idea of what you like and don’t like. This will filter people out before they make contact, and give people something to talk to you about in an initial email. If you have no information for them to go on, how can you expect to get any other type of email other than “Hi, how are you?”.
5. Work hard on your profile text. Try to come up with three or four multi-sentence paragraphs that say something about you. But don’t give away the whole story in each of these paragraphs, just give enough detail to cause interest and create the desire to find out more.
You need a messaging strategy on plenty of fish
One of the first things that people make the mistake of doing is downloading the plenty of fish app and using that to make initial contact. The problem is that the plenty of fish app encourages you to write in the same way as you would text, informally and not at length.
This creates a one-liner culture which can rapidly get boring. The best advice we can give is to always log onto the desktop site and treat your initial message as something more formal email. That way you will take more time over it. When it comes to plenty of fish tips for messages this is the big one. You have to message people and convey serious intent, while remaining light hearted. If people perceive you as being flippant or not genuine then your message will be instantly deleted.
You should also read our messaging tips for making first contact and approaching the subject of going on a date. Scientifically, there are several things you should do and shouldn’t do within your messages, and our guides can help you.
Finally, be in it for the long run…
Unless you are incredibly lucky you will not find love through plenty of fish within a few weeks. Most people are on their for several months, and around 50% of people are on their for one or more years.
The problem is that people filter out other people on dating sites through the images they have on their profile, without actually even reading the profile. This can create a culture over time where perfectly good-looking are decent people are filtered out without a second thought because they don’t match the increasingly narrow criteria that spending a long time on a dating site creates in your mind. You can rapidly train yourself to dismiss people purely on a two second glance at an image. Of course, there is some justification in this, but I would suggest that in around 50% of cases you are not actually seeing the person at all, you are judging them on one photo taken during one moment in time.
So take your time and keep an open mind on every single person who you contact, or contact you. Don’t look at a photo and think that they look okay but they may not be view, give them a chance and remember that a photo is a moment in time and rarely represents how attractive the person is.
If you don’t believe me on that, keep an eye on people’s photos over time. You will see that as they are on their longer, they will tend to change their photos and you will see that people are very, very different depending on how those photos are taken. At the end of the day, if somebody interests you at all, the best thing to do is bite the bullet and meet them for a coffee.